brown girl caught your eye? Don't be shy!

This is for the white guys who have been interested in a dark-skinned female but have been snubbed -- they think.  Unfortunately, many of us brown-skinned cuties have been burnt by racist men who look at us a little too long to be uninterested but respond to eye contact or a smile by looking through us as if we weren't there.  Every brown person on the planet knows that look.  Probably others have experienced it too but had no reason to think it was personal.  I'll digress a little here because I know some folks think we're just oversensitive.  But most of us have had the not-so-rare experience of being with others who are not brown, and crossing paths with strangers who smile at our companions and look right through us.

So if you've got the cojones, and yes I do know it requires some, offer her a friendly smile.  You'll never know whether she's interested if you don't, because you won't know if she has the good fortune to have dodged the racism bullet (much more likely if she's under, say, 28) or not.

And hey, men constantly think I'm flirting with them when I'm not, because I tend to smile at everyone.  I've decided the racists can go fuck themselves because I'm not going to stop being who I am.  So if you get the willies about smiling at a pretty girl, pretend to yourself that you're just someone who smiles at everyone!

Tear those stereotypes down!

I know that we're programmed to think in categories, and one side effect of that is that stereotypes are inevitable.  And of course they're (often) based on some truth; we wouldn't last very long if we lived according to a whole framework of assumptions created out of thin air!  They carry you away for that...

 But there's a confusing game that we have to play every day -- confusing because we have to constantly switch how we play!  Most of the time we want to use our much stronger and more agile primary hand (right for me) which can deal with any situation with little to no thought -- but when certain targets appear we have to use our torsos: no hands allowed.  Meaning we have to slow way down and think through our every movement.

Lost in my metaphor yet?!  I know my mind works in ways that are a little mysterious to others lol; but here's the rest.  Categorization (stereotyping) is the easy way to play.  There's no point in beating yourself up about doing it, because if you didn't you'd still be trying to figure out how to get out of bed.

But we can't get lazy and forget that we're doing it, because we need to be able to recognize when it's time to put our hands behind our backs and do things the hard way.

We all know it's a safe bet that any assumption we're making based on what someone looks like has great odds on being wrong, riiight?

So here's one of the ones that are my natural enemies and that I attack on sight:  Dark-skinned women should always wear loud, brazen clothes.  Sorry if you thought it was going to be all deep and stuff lol.  But this is a serious problem!  (In my mind at least.)

 Black women, Latina women all can and do look wonderful in sweet and/ or understated and/or flowing styles.  Of course no one's saying they have to!  But those who love styles that don't fit the Bad Girl stereotype of brown women should know that they can wear what they love beautifully.  Here are some supporting images and there will be many more in the future...

bronzed beauty

Here are the first of many picture posts.  I apologize for not having details about the pics.  I just need get lots more images out there than I can track down.  If you're interested in a particular one let me know and I'll try to get the info.  A disclaimer here:  I list to the feminine side though I was raised a feminist.  I don't think everyone should be fem.  I do think that Black women can use it to demolish some stereotypes..

Oh, and I couldn't resist putting in a plug for natural beauty, with the the ( mostly) makeup-free shot of Bey.  

It's not all about the sistas.

I'm half black, and even though I don't much look like it, years ago just the fact itself was enough to alter how people perceived and treated me, apart from my skin color.
 And that's my point here.  Black people still absolutely face an uphill battle to be taken seriously.  But I insist that that can and needs to be separated from skin color.
          A) Black does not = dark skin and dark skin does not = Black.
          B)  This country is stuck in its binary black/white thinking, and it needs to get unstuck.
          C)   Once we all wake up to the fact that we can find dark skin very appealing, we'll be forced to deal with the 'Black' issue directly instead of hiding behind the knee-jerk response 'I just don't find dark-skinned women/ men attractive.'  I suggest discovering as many of the Black folk who are quietly operating at the high end as possible.  Trust me, I've had to do this myself.
 But this blog isn't and won't be about uplifting Black women.  There are many many options ad infinitum if that's what you're looking for.
 I'm only interested in reflecting the hotness of dark skin on women from all over the place, and the sweetness and lovableness of our little brown girls.